We all know the story of the prophet Jonah: God tells him to go to Nineveh. Jonah says “Eff that, those people will kill me.” He hops a boat going the opposite direction. God comes back and says, “Maybe you didn’t hear me,” and sends this uber-death storm. Jonah gets the other guys to chuck him off the ship, he ends up getting swallowed by this massive fish, only to be purged a la Kate Moss three days later. After going through all that, he finally realizes that he’s fucked either way, goes to Nineveh, the people repent of their wicked ways, and everyone–EXCEPT Jonah–lives happily ever after.
God has a very sadistic sense of humor sometimes. Continue reading