Will You Just Shutup Already??

“Like a thornbush in a drunkard’s hand is a proverb in the mouth of a fool.”  –Proverbs 26:9

“When people think you’re dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just waiting for their turn to speak”  –Fight Club

One of the most obnoxious things about planning a wedding is all of the unsolicited advice you get.  I remember going through this almost five years ago (wow!), and it seemed everyone I talked to thought that I should use their florist, their caterer, their photographer, their bakery.  That we needed an open bar, a cash bar, no bar.  That since the wedding was in October, we just had to have an autumn theme!  That Scott and I needed to remember to communicate, that we should wait to have kids, that it was honorable that we weren’t living together, that it was insane that we weren’t living together…

Do you ever wish people would just shut up?

It amazes me that no matter what I do, from what to eat for breakfast to whether or not I should go back to college, everyone has an opinion.  Yet, no one who is offering up this wealth of information ever knows the full details of my situation.  That’s not to say I’m not guilty of wanting to appear to be wise.  I mentioned in my last blog that I’m a bit of a know-it-all.  My husband and best friend both have received more than their share of “you shoulds” from me.

Sometimes, people just want a listening ear.  Sometimes, their sole purpose of telling you something is because they would like to share it with you so you can celebrate (or grieve) with them.  Back when I was in junior high, there was an older girl in my church’s youth group that encouraged me to memorize James 1:19, which says, in part, that we should be quick to listen and slow to speak.  Mind you, she probably directed me this way because I was a chatterbox, but it doesn’t change the message of the verse.

Another thing that came to mind when I read this verse was how things can be so grossly taken out of context.  The best example of this that I can come up with is Luke 6:38 which reads:

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

So many times, I have been in church services where this particular verse was used to encourage parishoners to put money into the offering plate.  Because of this, I would venture to say most Christians are under the impression that monetary giving is what that Scripture is about.  I believed the same thing, until someone pointed out to me that it wasn’t.  In fact, if you read that Scripture IN CONTEXT, Jesus is speaking about loving your enemies, not being critical, and forgiving others.

“Like a thornbush in a drunkard’s hand is a proverb in the mouth of a fool.”  I couldn’t have said it better myself.

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7 Responses to Will You Just Shutup Already??

  1. Fellow tarnished friend says:

    I always felt that Luke 6:38 spoke to me about the way we treat others, well…basically…
    What u give comes back…good or bad
    like the saying…what goes around comes around

    I also felt that alot if church folk should listen to God’s word more than the words of their co-church goers. It’s not about what u have done, or what u think u should be doing, or who u think u are….it’s about who God thinks u are, more or less… knows who u are

    • Nikki D. says:

      Well-put. The thing that was hardest for me to get over was my inability to separate God from “God’s people” (I believe I touched on this in another blog). Even now, I refuse to accept the title “Christian” because of all of the negative connotations associated with it. Instead, I am choosing to seek God and truth. And a lot of what I’m finding is exactly what you’re saying–other people’s opinions and judgment don’t matter! I covered this pretty comprehensively in the blog titled, “Screw ‘Em…”.

      Thanks for the input 🙂

  2. Tracey says:

    It has blown me away how many verses that have been read in church, don’t really mean what they want us to believe. Only one or two verses are read, and not the four or five around them that give the context.

    I have Crohn’s disease, and you wouldn’t believe the amount of advice I get. Especially from people that don’t even have it. It’s one thing to give advice when you know what you are talking about, but when you don’t, I say BUTT OUT! (nicely?)

    • Nikki D. says:

      Yeah, that verse was just one in particular. It seems you can find a verse to fit ANY agenda; hell, the KKK uses Scripture in THEIR propaganda!!! That’s one of the things I’m trying super-hard to keep in the forefront of my mind while blogging: reading the context around the Scripture. That’s why I prefer to reference **passages** as opposed to singling out lines here and there.

      As far as saying ANYTHING nicely goes–let’s just say that there’s a REASON I’m avoiding James 3 LOL 😉 I’m still working on the whole “don’t get pissed off in the first place” thing!!

  3. vickie schultz Merwin says:

    again,, well put!!

  4. Tracey says:

    We love you too!

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