And now, isn’t it wonderful all the ways in which this distress has goaded you closer to God? You’re more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible. Looked at from any angle, you’ve come out of this with purity of heart.

2 Corinthians 7:11 (MSG)

I don’t post near as often as I should, but I have a good reason–I am the mommy of the most amazingly beautiful, even-tempered, precious eleven-month-old girl on the planet.  Most of the time.  The past couple of weeks at home have been…trying, to say the least.

My Angel Princess is teething.

Last night around 2a.m., my husband and I woke up to the most heartwrenching pain-filled screams either of us had ever heard.  The anguish in sweet Baby Tessa’s cries was almost more than we could bear.  So I went into the nursery, picked her up, gave her some pain reliever, and carried her into the living room for cuddles.

Then I did what every 21st century mom does:  I posted about it on Facebook.

I have to be honest:  I can’t take full credit for the concept of this particular blog entry; honestly, I can’t take ANY credit.  Shortly after I posted my mundane status update on the woes of teething infants, a friend of mine replied:

“So much pain and suffering is endured to create something beautiful in us. Once it erupts we are free from the past hurt and have something shiny and new to show for it.”

Now under normal circumstances, I go into a tizzy when someone Jesus Jukes me–it’s irritating!  What my friend didn’t realize, though, was that I had been agonizing over something MAJOR over the past 48 hours–a decision that could would have drastically and irrevocably changed the path of not just my life, but the lives of many others–including those most dear to me.  Her words–amidst a barrage of advice on every teething remedy under the sun–spoke so loudly to me.  That while the pain of my ordeal seems intolerable now, more good will come from it than I could possibly know in my current circumstance.  That I have to be patient, because God has tremendous things in store for my life–whether I believe He is working–or even cares– or not.

Perhaps most importantly, though, that these are growing pains, and if I push through, God will make me into something wonderful.  Maybe a little crooked, perhaps not always clean and sparkling.  Something that will definitely involve a lot of maintenance, and possibly major intervention at some point.  But something that’s not only beautiful and wonderful, but something with a purpose.

And that, my friend, is definitely something to smile about.  :)

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So the Lord said, “I will wipe mankind, whom I have created, from the face of the earth—men and animals, and creatures that move along the ground, and birds of the air—for I am grieved that I have made them.”  –Genesis 6:7

And so begins what is quite possibly the most popular and well-known children’s story in the Bible.

…does anyone else have a problem with this?  Whose brainchild was it to consider this for preschool-aged Sunday School curriculum to begin with?!  ”Hmm…let’s see…talking donkey?  Maybe.  Jesus telling children to come to him?  Nah, that’ll be over their heads.  Oh, look!  This passage has animals and a rainbow–BINGO!”  Since then, the story of Noah and his boat of fuzzy creatures has become not just a popular children’s church topic, but has also been used in the branding of everything from daycare facilities to books to nursery decor to…well…anything and everything kid-friendly.

People!  This is a story about God being so disgusted with His creation that he obliterates every living creature on the planet!!  And the worst part–the part that seems to get omitted–is that it’s a very slow, very torturous death.  People watching the waters continually rising, scrambling to higher ground, leaving behind everything they’ve ever worked for, and still being unable to escape.  Watching loved ones as they slipped under the water, never to be seen again.  And then, drowning themselves.  After the flood waters receded, the sobering scene of millions of rotting bodies and animal carcasses.

“But it’s a story of God’s mercy!  God spared Noah!”  Spared?!  Spare ME!  Noah and his family still had their lives, but they too had lost everything material, plus all of their friends.  And the wonderful “rainbow promise” was a promise to never destroy the Earth again…with a flood.  God kept His options open in case He decides to hurl a meteor at our heads or nuke us.

I’d LOVE to get a good discussion started on this one–mostly because I can’t get my head around it.  Feel free to comment below; just remember that everyone’s entitled to their opinions–right or wrong–so play nice.

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”  –Philippians 4:13

All children are told at some point that they can be anything they want to be when they grow up.  Some aspire to be veterinarians, some wish to become firemen, some even aspire to be the President of the United States (although if they knew that the President is generally the most hated person in the country they’d think twice–but I digress).Of course, we as adults know that everyone has limitations, but even still it’s nice to daydream sometimes–maybe I’ll own my own successful business, maybe my husband will take me on a cruise for our anniversary, maybe I’ll get the lawn mowed this weekend (hey, it’s harder for some than others!).

For church kids and adults alike, we have a bonus hope-booster in the above verse.  I mean, it says right there in black and white “I can do everything,” right?

Well, sort of…

People seem to focus on the first half of the verse and think of the second half as the magic words that will make things happen.  ”Through Christ who gives me strength” is Churchese for “Abracadabra”.  Because it’s all about us, right?

Silly humans.  Trix is a breakfast cereal.

I tried reading this Scripture in the context of the passage.  While it initially comes across as a random nugget of wisdom, the majority of the paragraph is Paul sharing how he has found that he is able to be content in all situations; the conclusion of the paragraph is verse 13. I’d like to propose, though, that the important part of the verse is the second half, rather than the first.  As Christ gives us the strength, we can overcome obstacles.

My opinion is that the “everything” Paul refers to is everything he needs to be content–Christ gives him the strength to be patient, to show unconditional Christian love, to have perseverance despite his circumstances–good OR bad (because “good” circumstances can get us into trouble too).  But the point isn’t that PAUL is loving and patient and whatnot–it’s that CHRIST gives him the strength to be all these things.

Something to think about before the next time you visit your mother-in-law…  ;)

(P.S.  Zombies in the resurrection story??  Check out Matthew 27:52-53.  Weird stuff, I tell ya!)

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done…”  Genesis 50:20

It’s unbelievable how cruel and evil people can be.  I’m not talking about your run-of-the-mill playground bullies and in-laws; I’m speaking of those that do things that are so unbelievably abhorrent that it stirs up such strong feelings of rage and injustice that we can’t do anything but shake our heads in disgust.  This morning, I saw firsthand how absolutely AWFUL people can be; I also got to witness how God–in a way–can turn the tables and use the acts of the wicked for His own purposes.

First, though, I’d like to give you a little bit of the backstory of Joseph.  The Scripture above was said to his brothers who, years before, resented him so much that they sold him into slavery and convinced his father that he had been attacked and killed by a wild animal.  Back in those days, there was no forensics, nor were there police or a coroner to follow up on his alleged death.  On top of that, not only was Joseph sold as a slave and later imprisoned, but they broke their father’s heart with their lies of Joseph’s alleged (and in their minds imperative) demise.  These guys were jerks, to say the least.

But God had a plan…

The story continues following Joseph as God gives him the ability to interpret dreams, which eventually leads to him becoming the second in command in the nation.  During that time, he saved the nation from perishing from a seven-year famine…how’s that for a turn of events?  Furthermore, when his brothers came to him for food, he was able to forgive them for all they had done to him, saying the wise words in the above key Scripture.

Fast-forward to today, when a group of rabble-rousers (to put it nicely) from the Westboro “Baptist Church” showed up to protest at the funeral of a local young Marine who perished in the line of duty.  These are the cretins who go around saying that GOD is killing soldiers as a judgement for America’s tolerance of homosexuality.  They spew hatred everywhere they go, all in the name of God, offending and enraging all they come into contact with.

But I noticed something–their efforts ended up being counterproductive to their cause.  Community members today showed up in HUNDREDS to support the family of a man most of them had never met, waving flags and drowning out the protesters (all four of them) with their patriotism.  The sheer number of people and flags turned the gutwrenchingly disrespectful protest into a rally of love and support for the family–score one for the good guys, right?

It gets better…

Cornerstone Church (the church that was hosting the funeral), stepped up to the plate to share the exact OPPOSITE message from the one that was being broadcast across the street.  They showed that God LOVES people through actions of service.  They provided a shuttle to the rally of supporters.  They also provided–at no cost–coffee and hot chocolate to the hundreds standing out in the cold.  I didn’t hear a single word of disrespect towards the protesters across the street, nor have I heard a word of slander from the leadership team all WEEK on Facebook, despite the high emotions surrounding this event.  In fact, from the beginning they have CONTINUALLY encouraged the community to peacefully support the family WITHOUT interacting with the protesters.  Their silent message of love, peace, and service spoke MUCH louder than the offensive shouts and signage of those proclaiming the wrath of God.

So many members of the community were worried that the attendance of the Westboro Baptist Church members would mar an already difficult day of mourning; I was glad to see that, in fact, God CAN take a less-than-ideal situation and use it to show His love to not just a family, but a village.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6-7

I try to avoid using passages of Scripture that I think have turned into church cliches.  Everything’s already been said about them, and to a lot of us, they’ve lost their power–another empty saying to roll your eyes at.  It’s more fun to find the hidden new stories than to hear the same ol’ platitudes for the 300th time…

That being said, there is a reason that cliches are…well…cliches–there is truth in them.  (Not an original thought; stole it from a friend).

This particular passage is one that Christians use all the time to comfort each other; it’s also one that the person on the receiving end grits their teeth at, while thinking to themselves, “Easy for you to say; you’re not in my situation.  You can’t begin to imagine what I’m going through!”  Trust me, I’m rolling my eyes right along with you…

This is one of those instances where most folks hear what they want to hear, or expect to hear.  That the brain-dead sheep in front of them is telling them that God will snap his fingers and fix everything if we just wish really really hard.  Hey, Bonehead!  If that shit really worked, I wouldn’t be freaking out right now.  Do you think I’m reveling in my situation?  I’d like to believe in a Genie God as much as you do, but He doesn’t exist!!

Bear with me, here…

First of all, sometimes Genie God does occasionally pop out of His bottle and grant your three wishes; more oftentimes, He doesn’t.  More importantly, though, is that we read what is actually being said, rather than what we expect to hear.  This passage doesn’t say, “Present your requests to God and He’ll make everything go away.”  It says that the PEACE of God will guard your hearts and minds.  That you don’t have to freak out, not because everything is going to magically fix itself, but that–in time–everything will be okay, one way or another.  You don’t have to control your situation; more importantly, you don’t have to allow your situation to control you.

I guess the point of all this is that God is more like a bottle of Prozac than a magic lamp.  You’ll still have issues, but He’ll help take the edge off a bit…if taken as directed.

“So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, cursed are you…”     –Genesis 3:14

I learned a lot listening to the story of the Fall of Man in my Bible discussion group last night.  Some of it really rubbed me the wrong way.

Like how the serpent TOTALLY got shafted.

So, here’s what happens:  the Devil possesses this snake, and then goes on with the used car salesman act:  he twists some facts, acts real charming, and ultimately sells Eve a lemon (hey, the Bible doesn’t specify what KIND of fruit it was!).  Eve then shares with Hubby–who I learned was NOT off napping in the forest like we’re led to believe, but rather was WITH HER (Genesis 3:6).  Instantly, they acquire the Knowledge of Good and Evil (there was good and evil before; now they can figure out what is what), God comes out, and the first game of Hide and Go Seek commences.  Adam, who obviously sucks at the new game he invented, says “Hey, we’re over here.  Um…don’t look at my butt…” (yes, Tera, that was a Billy reference).  A little bit of a blame game is played as to whose fault it is for tricking Eve into the the aforementioned lemon deal, and the cursing party begins.

What I find interesting is that God STARTS with the serpent.  The serpent who was (as far as I can tell) possessed by the devil, which in my mind absolves him of any wrongdoing.  The SERPENT didn’t do it; the devil took over the serpent’s BODY.  But because of this, chicks hate snakes.  I dunno–maybe the SNAKE had eaten a leaf off the tree or something and therefore knew the difference between good and evil.  But what gets me even more is that God didn’t stop at the snake–while he’s doling out judgment on Adam, he curses NOT ADAM DIRECTLY, but the ground.  Now come on, what did the ground do??!!  Now we’re making no sense at all.  Blah.

I guess the lesson to be taken from all this is that our actions never just affect us.  There will always be consequences, and when the consequences hit the fan, they are guaranteed to NOT be distributed evenly.  Fair?  No.  Bullshit?  Possibly.  But the things we do affect all kinds of other people.  Your McDonald’s habit may seem harmless now, but tell that to the people who spend their time worrying you’ll have a massive heart attack.  Drinking and driving–we ALL know how that can turn out (I’ll leave it at this–don’t be retarded.)  Even our negative THOUGHTS about others–they affect how we relate to them, and if we SHARE those thoughts and the gossip snowball gets rolling–hoo boy, that generally turns into the Abominable Snowman.  It seems that no matter how little the sin, there are always multiple people affected.  Can we just stop sinning completely?  No.  Even the Bible says that.  But perhaps an awareness of the effects of our actions (or inactions in some cases) will help us to make the world a better place.  The beach is made of bajillions of single grains of sand.  Single grains, while they seem like nothing, can make something amazing and enjoyable when they start to add up…

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“I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man’s boldness, he will get up and give him as much as he needs.”  –Luke 11:8

This comes from an interesting passage where Jesus is telling a story:  a guy went to his buddy’s house in the middle of the night banging on the door, saying “Hey, dude!  I had some drop-ins and I’ve got nothin’ to feed ‘em!”

Moochy has some serious stones.

Dude replies to Moochy:  ”Eff off, man!  My kids are sleeping.  Don’t you have a watch?  Are you HIGH??!!”  And who’d blame him?  Moochy comes over in the middle of the night, wakes up Dude’s family, and then has the audacity to ask for three loaves of bread, which were most likely the aforementioned family’s lunch.  It’s not like they had bread machines or there was a Panera around the corner.

If I was Dude, I’d find a new crew to hang with.  Jesus, in a way, acknowledges this.  He comes out and says, “Dude isn’t going to give Moochy the bread because they’re pals.”  If one of my friends came to my house at 3am asking for pizza money for their cousins who surprised them with a visit, I would seriously reconsider that friendship.

But would I spot them a $20 if I had one?  Jesus says, “Yes.”  And for reasons I didn’t expect.  Not because they’re my friend and I should take care of them, but “because of their boldness.”

In the scenario Jesus gives us, Moochy’s point of view is simple:  he’s desperate.  The whole “not having Panera around the corner” thing works both ways.  Rude drop-by or not, in that culture, you fed your guests, no matter what it took.  In this case it took the help of Dude.  And Dude wasn’t being helpful because they were friends; rather, he was probably stunned by the cajones it took to go through all that trouble for his guests.  That and he was probably in a sleep fog, and figured giving him the bread was the quickest route back to his pillow.

That being said, just because someone does you a favor does not automatically make you best friends.  And for the record, I don’t have a $20 bill, so knock elsewhere.

“Who has woe?  Who has sorrow?  Who has strife?  Who has complaints?  Who has needless bruises?  Who has bloodshot eyes?  Those who linger over wine, who go to sample bowls of mixed wine.”  –Proverbs 23:29-30

When I was younger, I was able to go out and party pretty hard with hardly any morning-after repercussions.  I’d hit the bar when they’d open, have half a dozen drinks, knock back another dozen shots, and around 1am, Scooter would walk me to the car, where I’d pass out for the ride home.  I’d wake up the next morning a little bit on the sleepy side, but otherwise okay.

And then I started getting closer to 27.

Call it growing up, call it a lower tolerance level, whatever you want.  All I know is that nowadays by Drink #4, I’m good and toasted, and the morning after I’m threatening suicide.  The air conditioner is too loud, the clouds are too bright, and if that dog barks one more time, I swear to God I’m going to slaughter it, even if it means that I have to roll out of bed, which is going to be difficult, considering my pinkies weigh 185 pounds apiece.  Once I do get up, I spend the day in a state of constant hunger, because even though I feel like I’m starving, the thought of putting anything near my mouth nauseates me.  Conversation is all but impossible as I walk around in a comatose haze until about 5pm.

What on Earth compels us to make bad decisions?  Not just drinking ourselves into oblivion, but floating checks, skipping out on work, skipping out on breakfast, driving with the “Check Engine” light on for two months, telling lies, telling gossip, telling dirty jokes to our grandmothers.  We set the cruise control at 8 miles per hour over the speed limit.  We go to the tanning salon and fake-bake 3 times a week.

So why, then, are we surprised when the Po-Po writes us a ticket, or the rent check bounces, or your best friend gets pissed that you were talking smack about her, or the car dies on the side of the road during rush hour, or the doctor finds a weird mole on the back of your neck?  And who should we be upset with?  And who should we blame?

I’m not saying that bad things don’t happen; there are some things that happen to us that are unpreventable.  My point is that most things, to some extent, are preventable, and it’s up to us to do what we can to make wise decisions.  If and when you do screw something up, own up to it and learn something from it–trust me, it will make you a better person.

“We hear that some among you are idle.  They are not busy; they are busybodies.”  2 Thessolonians 3:11

“If you want to be somebody else, change your mind.”  –Sister Hazel

I struggle with control issues on a regular basis.  I want things done my way, every time.  You would think that would mean that I do everything myself, to ensure it’s done right, but that’s not the case.  I’m also a bit lazy, so I commission my husband to do a lot of the things that I want done.  My way.  Every time.

In short, I’m a nag.

Don’t people like me drive you batty?  I know they annoy me, and I am one.  Know-it-alls that will tell you how to do everything but refuse to help accomplish the task at hand themselves.  Or, worse yet, people who constantly bitch about their living situation, but do nothing to change it.  They hate their job, they hate their roommate, they hate their sister’s dog, they hate Susan Boyle…okay, that last one was a stretch, but you get the point.  They piss and moan about how God-awful their lives are, but they do nothing to change it.  The church they attend has a crap youth program, but when the call goes out for volunteers or suggestions on how to improve things, they beeline for the bathroom.

I’ve recently tried making it a point to become more active in the outcome of my own life.  One of the things that God has been helping me to realize is that if I want things to be different, I should work towards solving my own problems.  Glaring at the dirty dishes in the kitchen doesn’t get them clean.  Hating my mother-in-law is only going to prove her point that I’m a bitch.  The guilt I feel about the nagging I mentioned earlier?  It can be relieved by making an effort to appreciate my spouse.  If the paycheck we’re receiving is barely enough to cover the bills, perhaps I should rethink driving back and forth to the piano bar that’s 45 minutes away, so I can be able to eat for the next week and a half.

I’m not saying that old habits don’t die hard; I still find myself camping out on Facebook instead of taking five minutes to throw in a load of laundry.  I’d much rather be napping in front of the air conditioner vent than reading the Bible and drafting a snazzy blog for your entertainment (and perhaps enrichment).  But I read somewhere that if you can even improve one little thing about your life, it’s still an improvement.

That being said, I’m going to go clean out my refrigerator.

“So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife.  Then he went to her, and the Lord enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son.”  –Ruth 4:13

Regardless of where you stand on the Nature vs. Nurture argument, you can’t deny that the family a person is brought up in will, on some level, affect how they behave–even into adulthood.  It also affects how people perceive us.  I remember several occasions growing up when my father would hear the surname of one of my brother’s playmates, and instantly his face would either show a sign of relief or a pained cringe.  In the latter cases, it was most likely because as a firefighter, he worked closely with the police department, and it seemed that certain people with similar last names spent an awful lot of time in the pokey…

I don’t know a lot about Boaz, except that he was somehow related to Ruth’s dead father-in-law (they shared an ancestor somewhere).  I was surprised to find out that he was a descendant of Rahab, who was a prostitute that worked the wall at Jericho (and hid some Israeli spies).  Coming from the other side, though, we have Ruth, who was a Moabite.  One thing I learned (and was completely horrified by!) years ago was exactly where the Moabites came from.  The story is in Genesis 19:30-38, and it goes something like this:  Lot (Abraham’s nephew) lived in a cave with his daughters.  Since there were no other dudes around, they realized that if they were to die, the family name would die with them.  Sooooo, they got this brilliant idea to get Daddy schnockered so they could ride his jock.  They both ended up pregnant, and the first daughter named her son Moab, which sounds disturbingly similar to the Hebrew term for “by father.”

Yeah, I was a little creeped out too.  Especially since I was in junior high when I read it.

Anyhoo, so both Boaz and Ruth come from less-than-prime stock.  And they gave birth to Obed, who fathered Jesse, who fathered David (who I have already identified as a “shitbag” in a previous blog).  But here’s the kicker–the Moabite, the prostitute, and the shitbag were all direct ancestors of Jesus.  And he turned out okay…

So maybe there’s hope for Paris Hilton’s great-grandkids after all…

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