Tarnished–The Official Nikki Translation

So the Lord said, “I will wipe mankind, whom I have created, from the face of the earth—men and animals, and creatures that move along the ground, and birds of the air—for I am grieved that I have made them.”  –Genesis 6:7

And so begins what is quite possibly the most popular and well-known children’s story in the Bible.

…does anyone else have a problem with this?  Whose brainchild was it to consider this for preschool-aged Sunday School curriculum to begin with?!  ”Hmm…let’s see…talking donkey?  Maybe.  Jesus telling children to come to him?  Nah, that’ll be over their heads.  Oh, look!  This passage has animals and a rainbow–BINGO!”  Since then, the story of Noah and his boat of fuzzy creatures has become not just a popular children’s church topic, but has also been used in the branding of everything from daycare facilities to books to nursery decor to…well…anything and everything kid-friendly. Continue reading →

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”  –Philippians 4:13

All children are told at some point that they can be anything they want to be when they grow up.  Some aspire to be veterinarians, some wish to become firemen, some even aspire to be the President of the United States (although if they knew that the President is generally the most hated person in the country they’d think twice–but I digress). Continue reading →

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done…”  Genesis 50:20

It’s unbelievable how cruel and evil people can be.  I’m not talking about your run-of-the-mill playground bullies and in-laws; I’m speaking of those that do things that are so unbelievably abhorrent that it stirs up such strong feelings of rage and injustice that we can’t do anything but shake our heads in disgust.  This morning, I saw firsthand how absolutely AWFUL people can be; I also got to witness how God–in a way–can turn the tables and use the acts of the wicked for His own purposes. Continue reading →

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6-7

I try to avoid using passages of Scripture that I think have turned into church cliches.  Everything’s already been said about them, and to a lot of us, they’ve lost their power–another empty saying to roll your eyes at.  It’s more fun to find the hidden new stories than to hear the same ol’ platitudes for the 300th time…

That being said, there is a reason that cliches are…well…cliches–there is truth in them.  (Not an original thought; stole it from a friend). Continue reading →

“So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, cursed are you…”     –Genesis 3:14

I learned a lot listening to the story of the Fall of Man in my Bible discussion group last night.  Some of it really rubbed me the wrong way.

Like how the serpent TOTALLY got shafted. Continue reading →

“I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man’s boldness, he will get up and give him as much as he needs.”  –Luke 11:8

This comes from an interesting passage where Jesus is telling a story:  a guy went to his buddy’s house in the middle of the night banging on the door, saying “Hey, dude!  I had some drop-ins and I’ve got nothin’ to feed ‘em!”

Moochy has some serious stones. Continue reading →

“Who has woe?  Who has sorrow?  Who has strife?  Who has complaints?  Who has needless bruises?  Who has bloodshot eyes?  Those who linger over wine, who go to sample bowls of mixed wine.”  –Proverbs 23:29-30

When I was younger, I was able to go out and party pretty hard with hardly any morning-after repercussions.  I’d hit the bar when they’d open, have half a dozen drinks, knock back another dozen shots, and around 1am, Scooter would walk me to the car, where I’d pass out for the ride home.  I’d wake up the next morning a little bit on the sleepy side, but otherwise okay.

And then I started getting closer to 27. Continue reading →

“We hear that some among you are idle.  They are not busy; they are busybodies.”  2 Thessolonians 3:11

“If you want to be somebody else, change your mind.”  –Sister Hazel

I struggle with control issues on a regular basis.  I want things done my way, every time.  You would think that would mean that I do everything myself, to ensure it’s done right, but that’s not the case.  I’m also a bit lazy, so I commission my husband to do a lot of the things that I want done.  My way.  Every time.

In short, I’m a nag. Continue reading →

“So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife.  Then he went to her, and the Lord enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son.”  –Ruth 4:13

Regardless of where you stand on the Nature vs. Nurture argument, you can’t deny that the family a person is brought up in will, on some level, affect how they behave–even into adulthood.  It also affects how people perceive us.  I remember several occasions growing up when my father would hear the surname of one of my brother’s playmates, and instantly his face would either show a sign of relief or a pained cringe.  In the latter cases, it was most likely because as a firefighter, he worked closely with the police department, and it seemed that certain people with similar last names spent an awful lot of time in the pokey… Continue reading →

“When Jesus came into Peter’s house, he saw Peter’s mother-in-law lying in bed with a fever.  He touched her hand and the fever left her, and she got up and began to wait on him.”

Matthew 8:14-15

WHAT??!!

This is another one of those instances where I read the Bible and my imagination goes crazy.  I have to admit, the words “mother-in-law” are what initially caught my attention, but after reading and re-reading this verse, I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe Peter wasn’t the only one in the family that should have been granted sainthood. Continue reading →